There were days I hoped we would accomplish a lot and other days, we had all the time in the world. At least it seemed like we did. Since she was originally a project pony and going to be sold at some point, I tried my best to keep myself distanced from her and not get too attached. It sort of worked for a while.
Eventully I gave in, allowing myself to love everything about her. Obviously. My friend at the barn had told me once, that she could see the way I treated Izzy a little differently than the other horses. She was different because she was special, but what my friend meant was that I didn't look at her the same way I looked at horses I was close to. I was reserved, if not shut down a bit and almost cold.
That may be why after putting her down, I never really let myself grieve her loss. I was more shocked and numb over losing her, but I never really cried over her being gone. Sure once in a while there might be a few tears here and there, but I never really let it all out and let go.
Until the night I was watching the Garth Brooks concert from Notre Dame stadium on tv. He ended it with his song The Dance. Knowing the way it all would end? Yes. I would still, absolutely do it all over again. Without hesitation and without a doubt.
Miss Izzy never semed to have a bad day. She met me at the gate every day with a whinny or several and always looked forward to whatever it was we were going to do that day. Izzy held nothing back. She was a pony full of try and gave me everything she had.
Looking back, there are a few things I might change. One thing obviously is maybe catching everything a bit sooner and she might still be around. But sometimes we aren't supposed to mess with the natural flow of things. Things happen for reasons we sometimes cannot understand.
She was lovely. And better for the time you spent together. Hugs
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